Despite the fact that alcohol is legal, widely available, encouraged and celebrated in British culture, people are often unaware of the many risks and implications of drinking above recommended limits. Men and women are advised to drink no more that 14 units of alcohol weekly. This is equivalent to 4 large (250ml) glasses of wine or 5 pints of 5% lager or 7 double G&Ts (but remember that if you are drinking at home, you are likely to be pouring more than a double measure into each drink). Those 14 weekly units should not all be consumed in one go, but spread evenly throughout the week with at least 2 days alcohol-free. With that as a starting point, where do you fit?
To mark Alcohol Awareness Week, I have prepared a quiz to help you to establish if your relationship with alcohol is causing problems in your relationships with the people in your life. The questions are divided into seven categories (one for each day of Alcohol Awareness Week):
- Alcohol and Friendships
- Alcohol and Colleagues
- Alcohol and Dating
- Alcohol and Family
- Alcohol and Loneliness
- Alcohol and Parenting
- Alcohol and Partners
Alcohol and Friendships
Let’s face it, drinking with friends can be fun. If you start to notice that it is you who is always suggesting Cocktail Hour, or you who is the one who says, “One more for the road!” or that you are the one left at the end of the night ‘holding hostage’ the last friend as the others have all gone home, or if you experience disappointment when others say that they will not be drinking tonight, maybe you need to consider making some changes to your levels of drinking. People who are intoxicated are far more likely to make poor decisions, to sustain injuries, to get into altercations, to lose possessions such as their phone, to end up in a police cell overnight, to have unsafe sex, and even to be prone to suicidal thoughts and act upon them.
Q1. Do your friends have to look after you during a night out because you have been drinking excessively?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Q2. Is the consumption of alcohol a feature of your time spent with friends?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Q3. The day after drinking, do you find text messages on your phone that you wish you had not sent?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Alcohol and Colleagues
Drinking and the workplace do not go together well. If you have taken frequent time off due to hangovers, your workmates and your employer may begin to lose patience. It takes one hour to metabolise one unit of alcohol so, if you drank two bottles of wine the night before, you will still be intoxicated at noon the following day. Your local alcohol service can help you to change your drinking behaviour and improve your work performance. Many employers have very supportive HR departments who will allow you to take time off to attend appointments. Remember, you could be putting your safety or the safety of others at risk if your job involves operating machinery or handling chemicals.
Q1. In the last six months, have you inconvenienced your colleagues by taking time off work due to drinking the night before?
Never 1-2 times 3-4 times 5+ times
Q2. In the last six months, have your colleagues remarked upon your liking for a drink?
Never 1-2 times 3-4 times 5+ times
Q3. In the last six months, have you attempted to conceal from your colleagues the fact that you had been drinking by, for example, eating mints or chewing gum?
Never 1-2 times 3-4 times 5+ times
Alcohol and Dating
It’s natural to want to present the best version of yourself when out on a date, but being evasive about your true level of drinking could be an indicator that there is a problem that you are trying to hide, maybe even from yourself. If you are dating someone new, or are on a blind date, you cannot be sure of their motives. Sadly, some people hold the view that, if the person they are with is intoxicated, consent is not necessary. If you are the victim of a crime, I encourage you to remember that you are not at fault, and to report it to the police.
Q1. Do you feel that you need a drink before going on a date?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Q2. When on a date, do you try to gloss over the amount of alcohol that you usually consume?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Q3. Has someone with whom you were on a date ever taken advantage of you while you were intoxicated?
Yes No
Alcohol and Family
Some families have a culture of drinking and all get-togethers involve alcohol. Most people have their first drink in the family home. Extended family members can become very anxious, worried and stressed about the excessive drinking of a loved one, and this can lead to disagreements and arguments. Parents can find this especially hard as, where it was once their job to look after and protect you, now that you are an adult they are powerless. The decision to change must come from you.
Q1. In the last six months, has a family member expressed concern about your drinking or suggested that you should cut down?
Yes No
Q2. Have you reduced your contact with family members so that they do not become aware of your level of drinking?
Yes No
Q3. In the last six months, have you let down a family member or cancelled plans because you had been drinking?
Yes No
Alcohol and Loneliness
Alone does not equal lonely, but some people treat alcohol as the friend who is always there and will never let them down. Their relationship with alcohol gradually replaces other relationships in their lives and the loneliness becomes worse. It can be a difficult cycle to move away from, but support from professionals and involvement in recovery groups can be a great source of hope and inspiration.
Q1. When you drink, are you alone?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Q2. When you feel lonely, do you decide to have a drink to ease the feelings?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Q3. The day after drinking, do you feel more lonely than you did the night before?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Alcohol and Parenting
These can be very hard questions to face, but children of parents with an alcohol problem are impacted by their parent’s drinking and may experience emotional issues that persist throughout their life. Parents who take control of their drinking can start to rebuild their relationships with their children and demonstrate to them that change is possible.
Q1. Do you become irritable in the evenings if your child resists bedtime because you want the ‘shift’ to be over so that you can drink?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Q2. If you had to take your child to A&E in the night, would you be over the limit and unable to drive?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Q3. In the last six months, has your child witnessed intoxicated behaviour in you, of which you now feel ashamed?
Never 1-2 times 3-4 times 5+ times
Alcohol and Partners
Your partner may have greater insight into your drinking than others in your life, because they see it and live with the consequences. This can lead to them developing feelings of overwhelm and helplessness. Hopefully, your partner is supportive of you and invested in helping you to make changes. If the problem persists over a long period of time, it is common for partners to withdraw emotional and practical support as a form of self-preservation, having experienced disappointments. Support is available for the loved ones of those with alcohol problems. Contact your local alcohol service and they will be able to advise you on the support available in your area.
Q1. Do you conceal empty alcohol containers from your partner, so that they do not know how much you have been drinking?
Never Sometimes Often Always
Q2. Have you made promises to your partner about cutting down your alcohol, which you have then not kept?
Yes No
Q3. Do you believe that your relationship may be at risk if your level of drinking does not change?
Yes No
Getting Help
If you have done the quiz and decided that your patterns of drinking must change, help is out there. Your local alcohol service is a good place to start. If you are not sure where it is, ask your GP. You may want to try local support groups such as SMART Recovery, Recovery Dharma or Alcoholics Anonymous. Remember, for recovery to be successful, you must practice it every day. Solution Focussed Hypnotherapy can work wonderfully alongside support from other sources, as a way to re-programme your subconscious beliefs around drinking. Good luck!
Rebecca Bartholomew, 15 November 2021
