Have you heard of the ‘Still Face Experiment’? Scientists have conducted the experiment where a parent interacts lovingly and playfully with their baby for a while, then turns away before turning back to present a face that is still and unresponsive. The experimenters are interested in the baby’s reaction and it has been shown that, very quickly, the baby will become distressed and will try all they can to regain their parent’s attention.
People or robots?
This got me thinking about our obsession with smartphones. Sitting on the tube recently, I looked at the faces opposite me. Each person held a phone in their hand and was staring at it. Not in the way that I am looking at my screen now as I type these words: I am considering what I want to write, I pause, I look around the room while thinking, I smile when I come up with a new idea. No – the faces on the tube were passive, unemotional, almost robotic.
When we pick up our smartphones and start scrolling, we enter a different state of being. People often look at their phones to relax, or to pass time. Waiting for an appointment? Check Instagram. Commuting home? Play Candy Crush. Relaxing on the sofa at the end of the day? Look at Facebook. Lying in bed? Read through group chats. For many people, the smartphone has become their go-to whenever they find themselves with a moment to spare. It only needs to be a moment. The smartphone has become addictive and I have seen people reaching for it unthinkingly at many points in the day. Where, in days gone by, we would have been sitting on a train and reading a book or gazing out of the window, we are now beholden to the little gadget in our pocket that promises so much but delivers so little. Like a drug.
Meanwhile, as we stare, as we scroll, as we crush candy, or type an emoji response because we feel it would be rude to ignore someone’s post, our faces slacken, our eyes dim and our brains are dulled. We have become addicted.
Addiction
What does this mean for our children? Parents caring for the youngest members of our society are not immune to the pull of the mobile-phone. Child-rearing can be tedious at times. Many people see sitting down with their phone for 20 minutes as a break. (Side note- it’s not. A much better break would be one where you allow your brain to relax and wander, rather than be dictated to by the algorithms.) Children see their parents behind their phones, their faces still and unresponsive, and will react accordingly – seeking attention, trying to be seen, feeling ignored, becoming distressed. This, in turn, may lead the parents to seek further respite, because the last thing anyone wants during their break is to have demands placed upon them by someone else. A vicious circle starts to establish.
Mobile phone addiction is real. It is damaging to any relationship, not just to our connections with our children, but it is our children who really need us to be engaged with them. Positive play-time followed by quality rest for both parent and child is a much more beneficial habit to form, for all concerned. But, like any addiction, the pull of the addictive ‘substance’ is strong, and any changes to behaviour and replacements of habits take time to embed.
Freedom from the gadget
Solution Focussed Hypnotherapy can help you to overcome your smartphone addiction. You will have the chance to fully describe and clearly visualise the new behaviours before the trance that will help to embed them. The trance will be wonderfully relaxing, allowing you that much-needed rest and respite. You will learn about the value of proper, good quality rest (vs. the non-rest that is the scroll hole) and you can devise your own methods, that fit into your own life, for incorporating better rest periods, as well as more fulfilling active times throughout your day. You kids will thank you for it, but you will also thank yourself when you discover that you’re living your life free from the pull of the deceitful gadget.
Rebecca Bartholomew, 12 January 2022
